We often think of pleasure as something that we passively experience, something that just happens to us. But what if pleasure were something that we actively pursued?
Ester Perel is a world-renowned sex therapist and author of the bestselling book Mating in Captivity. In her TED Talk, she argues that we need to rethink our approach to pleasure.
Perel argues that we often view pleasure as something that happens to us, rather than something that we actively pursue. This can lead us to miss out on opportunities for pleasure, or even to feel guilty about enjoying ourselves. Perel challenges us to think about pleasure as something that we actively seek out and create for ourselves.
Is this not wild or what? We are trained and conditioned to not seek or notice pleasure and to be surprised when it shows up. WTF? What world are we living in? Where we are so disconnected from the true self that we cannot see or feel that we are pleasure at the core of our beings. Whether you have a spiritual practice or not, this is still your birthright! You did come from pleasure itself, did you not?
We have been taught to push pleasure away and focus on what sucks! What's scary, what's going to harm us? Of course, this is a natural function of the ego and the reptilian brain. To protect us from harm. Of course, the inner children in your system still cry out for help, to be seen and loved when harm is near. When this conditioning and trauma happens in our lives, we then become programmed to expect more harm until we can uncharge that part of us. Until we can reunite with our truths and power!
To be able to ask yourself in each moment "how can I make this even more pleasurable?" Is an act of freedom.
All of my clients ask me how I get past my fear, constriction, and erotic blockages. ALWAYS, the answer is GO INTO THE FEAR! Feel it all! Be with it! Love up on it until you have the most intimate relationship with it possible! Let it be alive and don't try to change it. Breathe and Be. Instead of DO something, just simply let it be! This act of doing can be such a separating space between you and you! If one can practice being with the self, in all versions there is much freedom.
After one has nurtured the parts that so deeply want to be expressed, they will find peace and harmony, and a place where they can feel ok being exactly who they are. Unapologetically!
I invite you you embrace the pleasure that belongs to you! That you were born for! That is already yours!