The way that the majority of people view desire is through a very jaded and limiting perspective. Desire is sometimes seen as a thing that can only lead to pain, suffering, and unfulfillment. And while it's true that desire can absolutely be those things, it's also so much more than that.
Desire is what drives us to seek out new experiences and to grow as individuals. It's what compels us to push ourselves beyond our comfort zones and reach for something more. It keeps humanity as a whole in the vein of evolution.
Sure, desire can sometimes be destructive. But it can also be the most beautiful, life-affirming force in the world. Ultimately desire is simply pointing humanity towards pleasure! Being in pleasure is being reminded of who you really are!
The problem is that we've been taught to see desire as something to be ashamed of, something to be controlled. We've been taught that it's better to suppress our desires than to let them run wild. Many spiritual traditions point us away from desire and condition us to feel that desire is the root of all evil. However, if the spiritual seekers go far enough on their spiritual journeys they will find that desire is the gateway to pure source consciousness.
This is can be especially true for men. We live in a culture that tells us that being a "real man" means repressing our emotions (pleasure), our sexuality (pleasure), our human experience (pleasure), and our desires (pleasure). Men are taught that to be, a man, you have to be tough, stoic, and in control at all times. Not messy, feral, savage, or free! Because men have been asked to turn away from their primal forces instead of learning how to honor them and channel them like a sage archetype. This is where we see toxic masculinity being born. When a man can embrace his divine masculinity is when he has learned to allow desire to move through him and guide him home to pleasure!
This toxic view of masculinity is not only harmful to men, but it's also harmful to the women in your lives. When men are taught to suppress their desires and not embrace pleasures, it creates a dynamic where women are seen as objects to be obtained, rather than human beings to be connected with. It also can prevent men from ever really reaching the divine feminine that lives within their partners. When a man is not centered on his pleasure and purpose he cannot make the good decisions they both yearn for in the perfect balance. Decisions that come from unconditional love, mental strength, and one's true nature. Supporting the sacred union of the divine masculine energies and the divine feminine energy.
It's no wonder that so many relationships are built on a foundation of power dynamics and control, rather than mutual respect and understanding.
The good news is that it doesn't have to be this way. Men can choose to unlearn the toxic messages about masculinity that they have been taught their whole lives. They can choose to embrace their desires, rather than suppress or bypass them. This is a path of spiritual awakening for some. When a man embarks on this path of transforming his desire into his embodiment of pleasure, there will come a point where he begins to understand he is on the path of the divine masculine awakening.
When a man begins to connect his cock with his heart he can then choose to see women as the divine cosmic beings that they are, rather than objects. They can choose to create relationships based on respect, rather than power.
It all starts with making the decision to let go of the old ways and embrace a new way of being. A way that is more authentic, more pleasurable, more fulfilling, and more joyful.
So, if you're ready to let go of the toxic masculinity that's been holding you back, there are three things you can do to start making a change, these are the best way to start:
Masculine takes action, so go educate yourself about healthy sexuality and desire.
One of the most important things you can do is to educate yourself about healthy sexuality and desire. There are a lot of myths and misconceptions out there about what it means to be a sexual being.
Start by doing some research and reading books or articles that challenge the way you think about sex and desire. This will help you to start seeing things from a new, more open-minded perspective.
You can even take the BLUEPRINT BREAKTHROUGH QUIZ to find out what erotic blueprint you are!
Talk about sex and desire with your partner (or potential partners).
If you're in a relationship, talk to your partner about sex and desire. Discuss your concerns and fears, as well as your hopes and dreams. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it's an important one. And when you are talking about it BE CURIOUS!!! With yourself and with your partner.
If you're not in a relationship, talk to your friends or potential partners about sex and desire. Again, this can be a difficult conversation to have, but it's so important. We need to normalize discussions about sex and desire if we want to change the way we think about them.
Pleasure is your birthright and it is ok to communicate about this!
Be open to trying new things and different ways.
One of the best ways to learn about healthy sexuality and desire is to be open to trying new things. This doesn't mean that you have to do anything you're not comfortable with, but it does mean being open to exploring new things.
Talk to your partner about what you're both interested in trying and then take things from there. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to have sex or experience pleasure. The only important thing is that everyone involved feels safe, respected, and comfortable.
Desire is a beautiful thing. It's what keeps us alive and moving forward. We need to start seeing it as a positive force in our lives, rather than something to be ashamed of.
If we can do that, we will be one step closer to creating a world that is more open, connected, and joyful.
Cheers to the good fight for pleasure!
If you want un-shackle yourself from an unhealthy relationship with desire and toxic masculinity reach out to me and we can explore what that would look like for you.